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How Divorce May Affect Your Relationship With Your Children

After a divorce, several factors can affect your relationship with your children. You may assume new responsibilities you never had or find yourself in an unusual, secondary role. You might have to work to defend yourself against your former spouse’s claims. You may have to help your child adjust to a new home.

Even when spouses part amicably, a divorce in Colorado can still lead to a lot of stress and heartache. When children are involved, it can add an extra layer of worry.

Divorce Can Make One Parent Primary

During the separation process, couples may decide how they plan to split up parenting roles. In some cases, the mother or the father ends up having more time with the children due to how custody (“parenting time”) is split. While this unequal splitting of time does not always have negative effects, it can affect each parent’s relationship with the children.

For example, if a father gets to see his children only on the weekends, he is expected to maintain attachment with small slivers of his kids’ time. Eventually, the children may start to feel distant and uncomfortable when they must spend time with their father, or they may view him as the fun-time parent. On the other hand, the mother in this situation is expected to go through the morning, bedtime, dinner and homework routines all by herself. She has to shoulder most of the responsibilities of raising the children, which can lead to her feeling worn down and overwhelmed.

Divorce Can Lead To Learned Resentment

Spouses often have negative feelings toward each other during the divorce process. If these feelings are verbalized to or around the kids, it could cause the children to start harboring similar negative feelings toward the other parent. Even though divorce is a high-conflict time, parents should strive to speak well about each other in front of the kids to help promote a positive relationship with both the mother and father.

Divorce May Require New Parental Roles

When one household is split into two, parents have to take on new roles to help their children transition. Being a provider and physical caregiver may not be enough. Becoming an emotional sounding board is not uncommon because many children struggle with divorce. Some parents may have to help their kids work through their new emotions to maintain old relationships.